With England wins World Cup drama cranked up to 11, England is one of the few teams that have actually looked pretty decent so far. No heartbreak for fans of the Three Lions, well at least not yet anyway.

Two wins from two, already through to the knockouts and our captain’s so on fire he’s scoring back heels from the edge of the box.

Our old foes Germany have suffered a shock (and quite frankly embarrassing) exit. Thursday’s no-pressure match against Belgium gives us a chance to show what we can really do against quality opposition. And the squad is in intensive training with magical inflatable unicorns.

What could possibly go wrong with a mission - England Wins World Cup?

Well, if the last 26 tournaments are anything to go by, it’s going to be hard for any England fan to shake that nagging doubt that we’ll somehow manage to tie our own bootlaces together and trip ourselves up. Whether it’s a silly red card, a weak penalty, a freak cross/shot that sails over the keeper’s head, or the entire team failing to deal with a long throw-in from a Viking postman… we always find a way to flop. And that’s why, deep down in the dingy parts of every England fan’s soul, we all know this World Cup will end in tears.

But before you sack off the beautiful game altogether and go live in a cave with a tribe of Tibetan monks, there’s some good news. Not that England will turn it all around (don’t be daft). But that there’s a cure for your impending England Wins World Cup heartbreak.

FFS England (For Fans Sobbing – England) is a helpline for long-suffering England fans. And they’re offering the chance to find your 2nd Team with a DNA test.

The test tells you where your ancestors came from. This means you can find out if there’s another country you could support.

So next time Southgate’s men slip on their own soggy banana skin – and leave you feeling like a part of you has crawled into a corner to take its final breath – you can pull on a Spanish/Portuguese/Brazilian/Mexican/Japanese shirt. And belt out the national anthem. Because even though England has flopped out, your 2nd Team could keep you in.

Dan is always available for any football data projects you may have and/or content creation.

If you have any requirements then please feel free to contact Dan or visit his website Real Football Data.

Have you thought about becoming a sports data journalist?

You are curious about the job, but not exactly sure about the exact responsibilities of a sports data journalist? Read along and you will find out. Working as a sports data journalist is a fun, rewarding, but also intense and responsible job. Sports data journalists are responsible for transmitting live data via mobile devices to the servers in real-time. It is all about speed and accuracy, and also requires you to fully commit and pay attention to the game at all times. Sports data journalists are responsible for transmitting live data from the sports venue through the special iOS and Android mobile apps or through the laptop interface, depending on the type of coverage. The games sports data journalists usually cover are usually close to where they live. Interested? Apply now to become a sports data journalist.